We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
