dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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