Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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