Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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