Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
there is glitter all over my balls
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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