just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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