I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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