is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
