why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
