I can tuck mytits in my pants
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Green mimosas i think yes
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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