no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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