My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
