During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
