We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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