I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i now understand why vodka
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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