Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
