When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
