if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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