Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
