Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
