Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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