i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
