I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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