She announced her abortion via fbk
It was confusing and full of hummus
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
