Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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