you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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