One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Randomize
