so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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