i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
