My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
