i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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