Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
