so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
