Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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