you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
