Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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