drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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