the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
