508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
