Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
