I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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