Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
