actually, I'm a sock model
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
