I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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