so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize