the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
