Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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