Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I AM VODKA MAN
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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