I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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