If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
