I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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