Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
