Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
