ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
