I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
