I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
