this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I supernannyed him into submission
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
