I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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