it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize