Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
