you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
