I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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