I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
