Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize